Nick

The dreaded day has come when I had to lay my sweet Nick to rest. My beloved cat died on February 18, 2012, after having lived a wonderful kitty life for 15 years. Nick and his brother Michael were given to me as a Christmas present by my sister in 1996 when I was 11 years old. Michael died 2 years later, but Nick has pushed through it all with me. He has made it through 8 moves, many friends, deaths, a marriage and divorces. He stuck by my side through all the nights when I would cry myself to sleep as a child and as an adult. He was there for the best and worst times of my life. (I knew I wouldn't be able to get through this post without sobbing...)

Every day when I walked in the door, Nick would great me by standing right behind the door, waiting on me to walk in. Most of the time, I could hear him saying hello when I was getting out of the car in the carport before I even made it to the door. He followed me everywhere around the house, from the closet to the washing machine and back to the closet, from the kitchen to the bathroom to the couch where we would snuggle under a blanket, and then to bed where he would sleep so comfortably on my pillow. Nick had a very healthy lifestyle...healthy in the fact that the dude loved to eat...which is why he weighed over 20 pounds for the majority of his life. I fed him Overweight Management food for the last several years, but it just never seemed to help. The most active he would get is running to his food bowl when he could hear me filling it in the mornings or the evenings. He could jump to and from the couch and the bed, but that was about all he would do. So, I am beyond blessed that for his age and weight, he was as healthy as he was for as long as he was.

A few weeks ago, I noticed Nick was becoming very skinny (skinny for him) and was not eating near as much. He was still drinking a lot of water, but not eating like he should. I kept a close eye on him, but never saw anything real life-threatening. Then, on Tuesday, February 14 (yes, on Valentine's Day) at 2:30 I got a call from the lady that cleans my house (don't judge me) asking if Nick had been sick. She said that he was not breathing well and hadn't moved since she had been there. She put his water bowl in front of him to try to get him to drink, but he wouldn't even lift his head. I rushed home from work and immediately got him and took him to the vet where a number of tests were run. Nick's body was not producing red blood cells like it should - either his bone marrow was not producing them at the speed it should, or it was and his body was recoginizing them as foreign and destroying the blood cells before he had time to produce more. The doctor ruled out leukemia and FIV, which are the two most common causes. Nick spent the night at the vet Tuesday while they performed more tests and a blood transfusion. Leaving the vet, I seriously felt like I had left my child...like a physical part of me was missing. It was so hard leaving him knowing he was in such bad shape. He stayed on fluids all day Wednesday and came home Wednesday night with steroids and antibiotics to be given until Tuesday (supposed to be tomorrow) when I would take him back for a check-up.

Friday night, I could tell it would not be long. The way Nick cried and laid there, I knew his sweet little life was coming to an end, I just didn't know when. Then Saturday morning when I woke up, I awoke to a lifeless pet laying on the floor.

Nick was laid to rest in Dad's backyard next to his brother Michael. I knew, as Nick got older, that eventually he would pass on. I have prayed and prayed about this day for a long time now, praying that God would not take Nick until He knew I was ready and could handle it. I know God answered my prayers by holding off until now. Had this happened last year, I would probably be in a padded room staring into space twiddling my thumbs. But, no matter how many prayers have been said or how hard you try to prepare yourself, NOTHING can prepare you for the loss of a pet. Nothing can fill that gaping hole in your heart that physically aches so bad. I find comfort in the fact that Nick had such a good life. He loved me, he demanded my attention and loved to be loved on. He was as happy as could be, and I am thankful that he did not have to hurt and suffer for very long. Now, as I go dry my tears and try to fix my face from looking like Alice Cooper's cousin, I'll leave you with these:

Both of these pictures are of Nick on a full-sized bed. Get my point when I said he was "healthy"? A couple of friends of mine even referred to him as a panther. "Sarah, did you know you had a black panther in your living room?" "No, that's just Nick!"

These last few were more recent pictures that I'm so glad I took. Some would make fun of me for having so many pictures of Nick, but now I am SO thankful I do. I even remembered that I have pictures of him as a kitten that are in my attic. I am going to get those down soon.

One of his favorite places was under the Christmas tree during Christmas time. Just like his momma, he sure did love Christmas!

This is how we spent many, many nights - laid up on the couch with my quilt and Nick in my lap. Can't beat those memories.

And this is my sweet baby after he came home from the vet. These were taken on Thursday, 2/16, the last picture I have of him before he died on 2/18. His poor legs looked pitiful after having needles and IV's in both of them.I know time heals all wounds. I know that death is part of having a pet. I know all the cliche things, but I also know the pain and the sadness that comes with it. However, I am at peace that I gave him a good life, that he knew he had a good life, and that he does not hurt any more.

Rest in peace, my sweet Nick. I will love you forever, and am so thankful I got to be your momma.